Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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