I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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