Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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