the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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