He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
