How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
