And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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