That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
and she was petting her beer can
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
