can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I didn't notice because vodka
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
