Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
