I must be too annoying 4 u.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
