She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
