How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
