They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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