it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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