Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Randomize
