I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
