Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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