i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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