WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
