i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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