Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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