Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
