i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
