May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
