Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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