...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
