I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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