Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
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