dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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