I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
