Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
