how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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