Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
