Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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