i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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