Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
drinking out of a sandbucket again
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
