If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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