So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
