I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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