How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
