there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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