I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
