I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
