Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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