yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
my liver is dry heaving
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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