So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
