We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I am naked and annoyed.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
