Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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