carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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