An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
His nipple licking is glorious
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