my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
