In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's just like the Real World with babies
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
