Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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