there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
