Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
two words...techno handjob
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
