Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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